Sick of prequels to classic movies that don't need prequels? So are we! Inspired by the recent rumor of a prequel to The Shining, we present to you five horror prequels we hope Hollywood, never, ever makes.
Kid Fly
Starring: Zachary Gordon, Rick Moranis, Martha Plimpton, Robert De Niro, Selena Gomez
The Pitch: Wuh oh! Lil' Seth Brundle’s gotten into his father’s teleporter again, and this time, he’s not alone! That’s right, we’re turning the gene-splicing concept upside down with this fun 're-imagining' of 1980's The Fly! This delightful family film follows 10-year-old Seth (Gordon) as he hilariously attempts to hide his body horror from his parents (Moranis and Plimpton) while trying to stop evil scientist Franken Snadien Lankanotvitch (De Niro) from stealing his father’s blueprints! And will he be able to impress his cute neighbor Rachel (Gomez) when bits of his face keeps falling off, or will she finally realize it’s what’s on the inside that counts?
Jaws: The Beginning
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Shia LaBeouf, LL Cool J
The Pitch: This gripping historical epic centers on a young Quint (Wahlberg) as a naval officer on the U.S.S Indianapolis, famously hit by a Japanese torpedo in 1945. Director Darren Araonofsky (Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan) boldly examines that chilling night, casting an unflinching eye on the crumbling humanity of Quint and his men as they try to survive against a host of great white sharks. Never one to shy away from gritty topics, Aranofsky has filmed 95% of Jaws: The Beginning in the water, where 588 officers get painstakingly picked off one by one in an array of gruesome scenarios across four hours. But what is real and what is nightmarish delusion? You’ll soon find yourself questioning your own sense of reality while watching the movie critics are already calling “Aranofsky’s most ambitious work yet” and “the bleakest film you’ll see all century.”
Damien's Big Day Out (aka The Omen: Lost in London)
Starring: Sylvester Stallone (voice), Ricky Gervais (voice), Amanda Seyfried, John C. Reilly, Kate Winslet
The Pitch: From the producers of Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 comes this cheeky comedy that puts the ANTIC back in ANTIChrist! During a day trip with one of his nannies (Seyfried), poor little Damien gets ‘accidentally' left at the foot of Big Ben, and must find his way home using only his adorable baby wits and the terrifying ability to telepathically persuade everyone around him to kill themselves! Featuring the voice talent of Sylvester Stallone as little Damien and Ricky Gervais as his cockney canine companion Bobby-three-paws, you’ll split your sides laughing as the spawn of Satan tries to find his way home to begin his tyrannical reign over the human race.
Misery: The Book Club Years
Starring: Rebel Wilson, Anne Hathaway, Kristen Wiig, Diane Keaton, Kirsten Dunst
The Pitch 25-year-old Annie Wilkes (Wilson) is a hopeless romantic and a hopeless shut-in - in fact, her closest relationship is with her pet pig! But one day she sees a members-wanted ad in the local newspaper for a book club...that will change her life forever! Featuring an all-star cast including Anne Hathaway as the bossy leader, Kristen Wiig as the hilarious hippy, Diane Keaton as the older lady and Kirsten Dunst as the slut, Misery: The Book Club Years is a gentle chick-lit-flick that reminds us all to treasure the small things in life: a strong cup of tea, some good friends, and a great Paul Sheldon novel!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Presents: Frat Attack!
Starring: Cory Monteith, Noel Fielding, Kieran Culkin, Michael Cera, Emma Stone
The Pitch: Set during the swingin’ sixties, TTCMP: Frat Attack takes place at the fictional South Central Austin College where the Kappa Chi Delta chapter reigns supreme. But the Fraternity’s President Todd (Cory Monteith ) has no idea what he’s letting himself in for when he recruits the Sawyer brothers into the fold! From playing unnerving ‘surprise cutting’ tricks on rival fraternities to straight up, unapologetic homicide, Robert ‘Chop Top’ Sawyer (Brit comedy thesp Fielding), Nubbins ‘The Hitchhiker’ Sawyer (Culkin) and ‘Leatherface’ (Cera) grow quickly out of control. How will Todd stop them from dismembering everyone at their annual kegger? And will Leatherface ever learn how to talk to smart, pretty sophomore Amy (Stone) without the uncontrollable urge to gut her from head to foot? Modeled after classic frat-house comedies like Animal House and Revenge of the Nerds, TTCMP: Frat Attack is bound to make you laugh and drop your jaw in equal measure.
Lucy O'Brien and Luke Reilly are Editors at IGN AU. They both like beer, cursing and share a crippling obsession with movies from their 80's childhoods. Talk to Lucy here and Luke here, or meet them and the rest of the Australian team at the IGN AU Facebook community.
Source : feeds[dot]ign[dot]com
